Always remembered

First blog post since the start of a hectic semester and it's nothing good.

Today I got news that someone dear to me has lost her 4 year old son in an accident. I can't believe it. He had years ahead of him and just like that, his future has been wiped cleaned. You never, ever expect someone so young to be taken away from you so unexpectedly until they do. My thoughts are with the dear boy's mum and dad.

Gone forever but always remembered.

RIP Cameron Bryant. 

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay

The following text has been extracted from one of my favourite books by Suzanne Collins. Possibly my favourite paragraph in any books I've read (top 3 for sure). SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT READ on if you haven't read the book and will be sometime in the future.

On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that.

So after, when he whispers," You love me. Real or not real?"

I tell him, "Real."

When forever holds true

There are moments in your life that you'll always remember. Today is one of them.

CONGRATULATIONS sister for obtaining your PR in Australia!!! Blow the balloons, pop open the champagne, and let loose the streamers!! A little over 1 month before you turn 27 - you did it!

Today is a day you'll forever remember, when 26 years of hard work finally paid off. It wasn't an easy road but you got there. This is one of those very few times when you get a piece of news so great, so surreal, your whole life flashes before your eyes - the ups, the downs, the sideways, right up to this very moment and I for one am rendered speechless. Words alone cannot describe how enormous this moment truly is. Amazing. Simply amazing.

Love you always ♥

Sister all grins and smiles after receiving the email bearing the news that her PR application has been approved.

When it really is goodbye

"Paesi che non ho mai

veduto e vissuto con te,

adesso sì li vivrò.

Con te partirò

su navi per mari

che, io lo so,

no, no, non esistono più"

-Time to Say Goodbye 

(Sarah Brightman & Andrea Bocelli)

Funny how things turn out in the end. Just goes to show how you can never truly see the finish line until you're there.

Can exes be friends? A question that I've repeatedly asked myself for the past 9 months. 

In the days, weeks that followed that heart-wrenching day, I stubbornly insisted that we remained friends so that we'll continue to be in each other's lives. That was last August.

Fast forward to March. After not hearing from him for a solid 3 months, we met up and called a truce. I've come a long way since August. I didn't think it possible but I've come to a point where it doesn't hurt anymore. I think about what happened and I'll never forget the excruciating pain he put me through with everything that he did but they're now merely fragments of my memories. He leaving me alone for all those months gave me the time to distance whatever I was feeling and even though old me didn't like that one bit, new me see that I am strong enough to stand on my own and that he no longer dictates my happiness. I can't truly describe it but I finally felt liberated. It's an amazing feeling. Talking to him then, it was good knowing that me being happy didn't hang on whatever happened next. I've no strong desire for him to be in my life but if he makes the effort, I won’t oppose it. It’s strange when I so clearly remember how much I wanted for us to stay friends after we broke up – that was me trying to cling onto something that was long gone. 

Fast forward to May. I don't think the truce worked very well at all. I don't think I was asking for the moon when I said to make an effort. After all this time, it didn't matter to me anymore whether we were friends or not but after meeting up in March, I somewhat expected a little more from someone that shredded my heart all those months ago. It was then I realised: if I'm always going to expect for him to do something that he clearly won't, there was no point of pretending that it'll work out in the end.

And so I said goodbye. 

It was odd that when I finally said it, not an ounce of emotion rolled through me. This was the end and not a wave of nostalgia or a hint of sadness crossed my mind when I said goodbye to the one person that used to mean the world to me. 

When it really is goodbye – the final page of our book. I would not have had it any other way.

Small deeds

I don't why this keeps coming back to me now but this particular scene is on repeat in my head at the moment.

On my way back today, I passed by a family of 3 taking pictures of their (I'm assuming) son in his graduation robes (it's graduation month at my uni). The mom and dad were taking turns with the camera and I had already walked passed them when I turned back and asked the mom if she would like me to take a picture of the 3 of them together. They were so happy that I did. And of all coincidence, they had the EXACT same digital camera that I do. What are the odds of that?

What a peculiar story to share but something about that moment strikes me as significant. 

What was the happiest moment in your life?

When I was a little over a month away from turning 20, my (then) best friend picked a star from the clear night sky and placed it in my heart. 

Despite the events that unfolded after and despite the way things ended, I didn't know then that what will happen would happen. So, it would be that moment in time when I thought the promises of forever will always hold true - that was a pure, untainted, happy memory.

Ask me A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G!

14 February

..."The day of love"

Lately, if there was one thing that I think about when it comes to love is that, just like the desert sun, it can be extremely unforgiving and that's not always, if ever something we can control.

Nevertheless, I found a rather nice "Love defined by..." on the net and thought it'll make a nice post for this year. 

LOVE defined by...

a 5 year old girl: Love is when he slips me a little note on the playground that says, "I ♥ U"

an 8 year old girl: Love is when he takes my chocolates and comes back with its wrappers.

a 12 year old girl: Love is when we work on a project and he intentionally touches my hand to get a pen.

an 16 year old girl: Love is when we get caught bunking and he takes the blame.

a 21 year old: Love is when he values my opinion above all others and when he sticks by me when the hardest hits.

a 26 year old: Love is when he proposes to me with a rose and says, "You know I love you."

a 35 year old woman: Love is when he cleans the house after he sees that I'm tired.

A 45 year old woman: Love is when he's been faithful to you not because it's his duty to but because you are and will always be the only woman for him.

a 55 year old woman: Love is when he is ill but still cracks a joke just to make me laugh.

a 65 year old woman: Love is when he takes my hand and gives me the same loving smile that he first gave to me 40 years ago.

an 80 year old woman: Love is when he is taking his last breath he says, "I'm happy that I got to know what love really is."