The last chair

When I was in Year 6, my school called in a motivational speaker to speak to the students before our big end-of-primary-school exam (the first out of the three major exams a Malaysian student takes in his/her primary + high school life).

All the Year 6 students were seated in rows of 20 in the hall and in the middle of the session, the speaker (lets call him Tim) called out our head prefect to stand beside him. Tim then said that he wants to do an activity with us. He said for everyone to stand up and form a circle around the hall and we were to bring our chairs with us. 

So, the 300 or so of us stood up and carried/dragged our chairs into a circle around the hall. The only remaining chair in the middle of the hall was the head prefect's chair as she was still standing beside Tim.

Tim then said, "Alright, everyone bring your chairs back and sit in the rows as you were before."

So, the 300 or so of us carried/dragged our chairs back and arranged them into the original rows and sat down. 

Again, Tim asked us to form a circle around the hall, bringing our chairs with us. 

And again, the 300 or so of us stood up and carried/dragged our chairs into a circle around the hall and the only remaining chair in the middle of the hall was the head prefect's chair as she was still standing beside Tim. 

Tim then said, "Alright, everyone bring your chairs back and sit in the rows as you were before."

So, the 300 or so of us carried/dragged our chairs back and arranged them into the original rows and sat down. 

And what do you know? Tim again said, "Everyone, form a circle around the hall and bring your chairs with you."

We did as we were told and formed a circle as before with our chairs and only the head prefect's chair remains alone in the middle of the hall.

As we were standing in the circle wondering what was the point of this pointless exercise, a classmate of mine suddenly ran to the middle of the hall and carried the head prefect's chair into the circle. 

And THAT was what Tim was waiting for.

It was a rather creative, clever exercise to get us moving about in the midst of a long session and at the same time teach us something. What Tim was really trying to say was for us to never leave anyone behind and to always help each other. That was the moral of the exercise: no one gets left behind.

Here I am, 11 years later and still the memory of that day nestles in my mind and I find myself thinking about the lesson of "no one gets left behind" - not in the hall on that day, not in a class when we learn, not in an exam when we study, not in a battle, not in the war, not anywhere, not ever.

A friend for life

Everlasting Love

- Carl Carlton

Found myself wondering why I've always been so fascinated with “being married”. Finally today, the blindingly obvious answer came to me. In an idealistic world (because I know not every marriage turns out so) and what I would wish for myself, being married is like having a friend for life, forever there by your side; a companion to share the world with; a partner in crime; a constant soothing presence when life throws you in a ditch. And that’s more than anyone could ever hope for.

The "right answer"

As the rejection letters pour in, I am forced to contemplate on all the things that has gone wrong and how much better I can tailor my answers to suit what they're looking for. The thing about interview-like questions in applications is: how much different can one answer be from another? I appreciate the possible reasons to why companies resort in asking such questions (weed out the nasties) but in all honesty, if you've already taken that much effort in applying, no one would dare answer the questions in any degree of badness, not intentionally anyway. 

Recently, I had to complete a psychometric test that took a few hours. I remember reading at the start, "Answer the questions honestly as there are no right answers. The test is designed to help us better understand the applicants" (or something along that line). So it said that there are no right answers..."no right answers". Is that really the case though? If by some off chance that whatever you answered deemed you to be a complete lunatic or perhaps even a sloth-like human that's not too bright, then I do suppose that there were indeed right answers that they were looking for. 

What will it take for someone to give you that one small chance that you're looking for, for someone to give you the much awaited, "Yes"?

Married life

Earlier this year, two of my college friends got married to guys from the same college. I just realised it's been four years since I left college and started life in university, four years since I last saw them.

A few months later, since first hearing news of their wedding, I still think about my two married friends and my memories of them from college.

A memory that sticks out is of me and one of the two girls who I knew from living on the same floor at our college dorm. She's such a lovely, friendly person. She ended up marrying the guy she was dating when we were still in college so unless I'm mistaken, they've been together for a little over 4 years now! There's a little whimsical charm in knowing that you married your college sweetheart. The memory that I have of her directly relating to the guy she married was a conversation we had late one night. We were in a neighbour's room, just the two of us (though now that I think about it, I've no idea why we ended up there). We were sitting on the floor, chatting the night away. She was texting her boyfriend and I remember asking her if she ever thought of marrying him and she answered, though they've just started going out, they've talked about it and if it's fated she would like to. Four years later, they tied the knot. Things you tend to remember at times like these.

Married life. If I'm really honest, though I'm really happy for them, I envy my two college friends a tad bit. The times we live in now, there's a stigma (is that the right word?) of getting married and people are doing it much later in their lives. Most of our lives are so pre-determined: go to school, go to college, go to university, get a job, and finally when everything's settled, perhaps get married. I envy those that get the choice when many others are tied to responsibilities. I often wonder what having the choice would feel like. We never know what tomorrow brings but if it was up to you, what would you like it to be?

The Impossible Choice

Have you ever loved someone more than anything in this world, more than life itself?

Someone once told me a story from a movie. Neither I nor said person remembers what the movie is called now. It goes like this -

Setting: India

Plot (the actual plot is a tad different but the gist of it is this): There was an Indian man (lets name him Khan) and an English woman (lets name her Jane). If I'm remembering correctly, it was during the war. Khan was to help Jane get out of India and back to England (I think she was initially there to teach English but the war was so bad she had to go back to her home country). So now they're on this perilous journey across India, dodging the baddies that are out to kill them and trying to reach the ship that will bring Jane back to England. Lo' and behold, in the end Khan and Jane falls in love.

Plot twist: How wonderful that the main characters fall in love, oh so sweet! But then...BUT THEN...they reach the ship and Jane says to Khan, "Come back to England with me. We can start a new life there and live happily ever after." To which Khan replies, "I'm sorry darling, I love you but I can't. My life is here, my family is here. I can't leave my responsibilities." With that, Jane leaves for England and Khan stays in India. They never meet again.

The ending: Many, many, many years later, Jane, who is widowed with grandchildren returns to India. She's very old now. She returns to India to look for Khan because despite their years apart, Khan has always been her one true love. She finds Khan's wife (lets name her Fatima) and discovers that Khan has died a few years before. Fatima tells Jane that even though Khan was a good husband, Jane has always been his one true love.

This story has haunted me since I first heard it a couple months ago. Why is it never fair and why must it always be so difficult when so many have it easy? When you make the choices that you do for the reasons that you must, who are you making them for? 

Alas, the path is still enveloped in a thick foggy mist to which I see no end.

One thing about the sweetest, nicest memories that I have and was fortunate enough to experience is that memories fade and one day, I worry that I'll wake up and it would've all just been a dream. What is real?

How can I ever forget

The sun that shines so bright

The warm glow that lits my path

An everlasting light