The cursed 14 instead of the 'magic' 15

Feels like I haven't written in here ages!!! But it really wasn't that long ago. So much has happened since...so many things I've wanted to write but never had the time. Biggest news I suppose is my great failure of 14 points during my Advanced Subsidiary Examinations. Got an A for Physics and Mathematics but a B for Chemistry. Don't think I took it too well. Had half the college and most of the lecturers encouraging me to move forward with my head held high and get my spirit soaring again. But I really didn't feel like moving at all, let alone forward. (I want to take this opportunity to say, "Thank you, Lynn for buying me food when I was not eating and feeling helplessly useless and unmotivated and for spiriting me on!") Only after talking to my greatest inspiration my spirit came back and here I am fighting on...full blast! Thank you, dad, my number 1 motivator and greatest inspiration!

Thank you also to every single one who help me make it through when hope seems bleak:

1. mum, for always having faith in me and always encouraging me on

2. my roommates, who bared with me when I was like a black hole; lifeless, turning our room into a miserable vibe (or maybe just anything within 3 feet radius...I wasn't really that big of a black hole, was I?), and radiating bad karma all around

3. lecturers, who watched after me like a hawk every single day and pep talked me with endless encouraging words till I got better

4. friends, who never tire of asking how I was doing and showing genuine and sincere concern even when you have your own things to worry about

I am now content with my 14, knowing that even though I wasn't good enough during my AS Chemistry, having earned that B, like my dad said, perhaps it was a blessing in disguise in some ways. I wasn't good enough and had I gotten an A, I would've deliriously thought that perhaps I really have mastered the subject.

Working SO hard and giving it everything I had and I still got a B. That's what discourages me the most. If I've already given everything I had, how do I move on? Whatever it is...the battle continues!