A thing called Hope

"Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness." (The Architect, Matrix Reloaded)

While I was living through the aftermath of a breakup, which was needless to say an emotionally scarring experience, I had a couple of people recommend that I read Eat, Pray, Love - possibly a good avenue to take my mind off things and also perhaps pick up a thing or two from Elizabeth Gilbert. The book's popularity spiked with the release of the movie late last year and after hearing countless mentions of it, including one from Koothrappali (The Big Bang Theory reference), I thought I'd give the book a go - why not.

Despite the many positive reviews and testaments of how the book changed people's lives, I must say I didn't care much for it. Don't get me wrong - I think it's great for Gilbert to have had gone through what she went through in the beginning and by the end of her journey, managed to "find herself" again. However, others (like me) don't have the same luxury of going through eat, pray, love periods in Italy, India, and Bali. I couldn't have packed up my bags, leave everything behind, and go anywhere let alone go on "a journey of self discovery". I had no choice - I was smacked right in the middle of 2nd semester. I had to live through what I did exactly where I was.

In the month that followed, I've never been more acutely aware how cruel hope can be when it's the only thing I had to hold onto (directly relating to the relationship/breakup), the only thing I had left at my lowest point. What do you do when your last beacon of hope is hope?

"In reality, hope is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs man's torments." (Friedrich Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human)

On hindsight (or to anyone looking in) that may seem like a stretch and could be construed as blowing it "over the top" but I certainly did not think so then, I couldn't have thought so then. After it happened, I hoped that it wasn't permanent, that he would want to make it work and that he would have cared enough about me to not let it all slipped away. It was hope that tied me to him for as long as my mind would refuse to simply let it go. It was literally the only thing that was left - hope. I felt like a drowning man clutching on a straw. Although I knew it was fruitless, although I knew that it wouldn't make a difference of me trying to reason things out, I still hoped. It was then I faced hope with a bitter resentment because I knew that while it was the only thing that I had left to cling to, all the hope in the world couldn't change what's happened.

"Hope is the only universal liar who never loses his reputation for veracity." (Robert G. Ingersoll)

Sometime later, I chanced on another book, "Annexed" (Sharon Dogar) - a historical fiction based on Anne Frank's diary. It wasn't until 2 months later that I finally got my hands on "The Diary of a Young Girl" (Anne Frank).

These 2 books I would call a life-changing. "Annexed" and "The Diary of a Young Girl" delved me into a another world, into a different time. It made me see and realise how much we take for granted, even the simplest and littlest things like running around under the sun and the ability to step outside for a breath of fresh air.

"An empty day, though clear and bright,
Is just as dark as any night." (Anne Frank)

"Hope is putting faith to work when doubting would be easier." (Author Unknown)

It would have been easy to have let thoughts of doubts and an unhappy ending consume the lives of those living in the secret annex but Anne (and everyone around her) was very hopeful until the very end. They had no control of what was happening and all they could do was get on with their lives as normally as they could while in hiding, hope that the war would come to an end and that they'll be free again. Right until the end, the residents of the secret annex were hopeful and they clung on that hope of freedom. They didn't survive to see the end of the war (except for Otto Frank) but hope (on top of everything else) kept them alive for the duration that they remain hidden.

"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." (George Iles)

When I read these 2 books, I saw life in a different perspective and I realised that there were things far larger than us, how simple we have it now. It was then the monstrous weight of the heartbreak slowly begin to fade - such a thing felt somewhat insignificant while I was reading about the 8 lives of the secret annex.

"Hope, deceitful as it is, serves at least to lead us to the end of our lives by an agreeable route." (Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld)

HOPE

We cling to it in our lowest moments and when we have nothing left.
We turn to it when we want things to go well, whether it's something in our control (outcome of an exam - depending how well prepared you are) or not (a war).
It gives rise to a dispirited nation. When the world says, "Give up," hope whispers, "Try one more time."

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wit and watch and work; You don't give up." (Anne Lamott)

"What if..."

24th December - Christmas Eve. Funny how I couldn't have been further away from where I was a year ago today and yet still be in the same place. Yet another mention of how much things change in a year. Nevertheless, I'm here now.

If there was one thing I'd want for Christmas (not necessarily Christmas - anytime would be good seeing that this is something I've been thinking about for a long time) is a device that shows the different outcomes to questions of "what if" (like the What-If Machine from Futurama). 

Wouldn't it be interesting if we could see how different our lives would be had we chose a different path or what would the world be like if we did/didn't...or what if the world was different from how we know it to be like today? Telly (among other things) tells me that I'm not the first one to have thought such a thought (quite obviously).

The following list of shows all explore the different scenarios of "what if": Anthology of Interest I and Anthology of Interest II (Futurama) - "What if Fry hadn't fallen into the freezer-doodle and come to the future-jiggy?", "What if Bender (the robot) was human?"; Road to the Multiverse (Family Guy) - "What if Christianity never existed?"; Turn Left (Doctor Who) - "What if Donna never met the Doctor?"; The One That Could Have Been (Friends) - "What if Rachel had married Barry?"; It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (The Muppets) - "What if Kermit (the frog) had not existed?"

The biggest "what if" I ponder on (like Kermit did in It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie) is, "What if I didn't exist?" 
I wonder how different would the world be. On the grand scheme of things - (dare I say) perhaps not much different. Perhaps. Did I, even if a little bit, make a difference to the world? I can imagine that the lives around me would be somewhat altered. For one thing, my sister wouldn't be living with me now (seeing that I don't exist). Would she be in Perth at all? If not Perth, then where and doing what? The same thing she's doing now? My uni mates would have gotten a different group member for their project. Would they have done worse/better on the assignment? The lives that I've touched and the people I've met, even if for the briefest of moment, I was a presence in their timeline. How much of a difference did I make?

Questions of "what if" based on choices or events that could have gone differently (chronologically ordered from my earliest memories to now):
1. What if dad had chosen to do his Masters in UK instead of US? - Would I be speaking in a British accent and be saying words/terms like "blimey" and "absolute tosh" more often? (not that I say them much/at all now)
2. What if I didn't skip a grade? (having gone straight to grade 5 from grade 3) - Would I still have gotten the opportunity to study Engineering in Australia after high school on my scholarship? Would I be studying something completely different? Would I be somewhere else entirely now?
3. What if I chose not to be a prefect in high school? - How different would my high school life have been? Would that choice have changed the person I am today?
4. What if I had gone to University of Melbourne instead of University of Western Australia? (like I wanted to) - I would have met different people, done different things, lived a different life. How different would that life have been like?
5. What if I chose to not have gone to event A/B/C and I've never met you, you, or you? 

Other questions of "what if's":
1. What if I had 2 siblings instead of just 1? What if I had an elder brother or a younger sister? What if I had both? What if I was a boy?
2. What if they've discovered electricity 100 years earlier?
3. What if the internet never existed? - Well, this blog wouldn't be around for one thing.
4. What if Steve Jobs never came up with the idea of Apple?
5. What if apes ruled the world?

It's an infinite list of what if's and such is life, many of the questions will go unanswered. Because such a device does not exist (yet - that I know of anyway), we can only wonder (until such a device comes along) of what would have been and could be and that's all we're left with - wonderment. 

Labels

Today I spoke to someone I haven't seen for nearly 4 months and for that someone to be a person I used to see every other day, 4 months can seem like an awfully long time. That got me to thinking - this time around it was 4 months but this could very possibly stretch into longer periods of time, an infinite period of time even. What if we never meet again? 10, 20, 40 years from now, will you remember me? And I, you?

"You don't have to be a label. You can just be Celastra."

"You never know. 20 years from now, you might only remember me as the girl that..."

Don't get me wrong - "label" is a terrible word for a person and I'm sure we don't make it a habit of putting people under "labels" but it's one of the ways our minds associate a face with a name - if we remember the name at all in the end that is.

Whether it's a good ("the smart one"), bad ("the one that got caught shoplifting"), or neutral ("the one with the short, brown hair") association, everyone will at some point of their life be associated with one, for lack of a better word, "label" or another and to different people, depending on the impression you've left, you'll be remembered in different ways.

Labels. What an odd word (for a person). I suppose it's not really label per say that I'm trying to get at - just the ways we're remembered. I wonder, how am I remembered? How are you?

Chapter 20 - The Adrian Files

It's the last day of November. 334 days into the year and 103 days since the break-up (not that I was counting - Wolfram Alpha told me that).

I had my worst moments in the first half of 2011 and that took a terrible toll on me. When uni first started again earlier this year, for reasons I may or may not comprehend (besides the fact that I found my units to be terribly difficult), life took a downward dive. I sank into what seemed like a bottomless pit and on the night of 20th August, the night I found out first hand what a heartbreak meant, that truly was the deepest point (if such a thing could exist in a bottomless pit). The thing about getting your heart broken is that you can never (and I say this out of experience) possibly imagine its true magnitude until you're living through it. We hear about it and we see it happen all the time to people around us, we see it in countless movies and we read about it in countless books but it wasn't until today that it finally hit me - this was no child's play. It's as real as it would get and for 2 weeks after, I found myself on my hands and knees (though not quite so literally) trying to rectify what I already knew was unrectifiable, a position I can only hope I never find myself in again.

- Patrick Star (SpongeBob: Valentine's Day/The Paper #1.16)

(Well, I don't really think that and I can honestly say that the thought hasn't even cross my mind once but I came across the picture on the net and thought it was hilarious. For one thing, it's Patrick!)

For the past 3 months, when I jotted down thoughts of you, it was more often than not thoughts and words of reasons why and questions of how and wonderings of what. Over the months, I've lost count of the number of times I've told myself that I was ok only to have something set off my emotions again - a memory...a smell...a song...a phrase...a word. And I didn't want to write anything directly related to what happened before this moment today because I knew that if I did, I wouldn't be able to help it if something remotely resentful came across in my writings (like when I had recurring thoughts of "how could you have not cared enough in the end", which is a somewhat resentful thought and I am not a resentful person). That is not how I want to remember you; with a tainted memory of tragic and despair, not when there was a time in my life when you were the reason behind my smile and I was the reason behind yours. 

I always did take for granted that "forever" will always hold true, whatever happened. It was pure ignorance that I thought I would be above the hurt and the pain and that I would forever escape the knowledge of what it means when someone says "heartbreak". 

The thing about heartbreak or anything of the like is, sooner or later you'll realise that:

Words to live by

And so, even though the world can feel like such a cruel place to live in, realise that there is nowhere else. In the end, it's not really a choice. We can't do anything other than to forge on and live through the hurt and (possibly) take it as a lesson learned. The one upside of being a student at a time like this is that the monumental task of back to back assignments for 13 weeks straight without break forced me to soldier on even when I just wanted to curl under my sheets and lay there. 

If I had the knowledge I have now, I would have been perfectly content with keeping you as my best friend. There would have been less expectations and clearer boundaries but I couldn't have because it was you that gave that knowledge to me.

Through all the thoughts of reasons why

Through all the thoughts that made me cry

I still remember a time once when

You were nothing more than my best friend.

One of the many terrible aftermaths of a break-up is that sleep was constantly being plagued by dreams of you. The first few weeks after it happened, the nightmares that haunted me were enough to make me dread the thought of going to sleep and so, I subconsciously ended up staying up later and later and even when I tried to have an early night, my mind would refuse to shut down and endless thoughts swirled through my head. Even now, I still have dreams where you are a character of either a plausible scene or a pure nonsensical one. The worst thing about dreams is that in the end, that's all it ever is. Your mind conjures up all sort of possible scenarios that is unlikely ever to happen. 

It was easier for you than it was for me

The scars of the pain will always run deep

And although our story did not end well

On those sad thoughts I shall not dwell.

I'm finding it harder to remember the best memories of us now that memories of a heartbreak overlaps it. The moments when it truly did feel like the promises of forever would always hold true - they're memories of a lifetime ago but if I quiet my mind and not think about the heartaches, it's almost easy to remember again.

I’ll always remember our story we’ve painted

I refuse to allow that memory be tainted

So, I put on a smile and got on with my life

And I did everything I could to survive.

I listened to Shadows and A Perfect Midnight last week. It was the first time I've listened to your songs again after 3 months, the first time that your voice drilled itself into my head. I've almost forgotten how you sound like and now that I'm listening, it does bring comfort realising that I'm not listening with resentment, anger, or bitterness; only that I think about the time of what once was and that I miss talking to you, the you I knew last year.

I still think about the roads that we’ve crossed

And I still feel the grief of all that was lost

It was only months after that I finally could see

The one simple fact of “weren’t meant to be”.

We've drifted apart for a long time now and it's always been because I thought you didn't care enough but perhaps that is unfair for me to say. Perhaps you did care. I honestly don't know. Sometimes, even if for the briefest of moments, I find myself wondering what you saw in the last few months and what you were really thinking. Deep down, maybe I've always known that we only had that summer last year and that's all it ever was. I crumbled after that and you pulled yourself further away until you were only but a presence behind the veil. 

When you whispered to me that I wasn't just another chapter, I was the rest of it, I couldn't have possibly known that it would only hold true until you felt differently. Perhaps our lives were never meant to be intertwined for longer than the time it took for us to serve our intended purposes. I was your breath of fresh air when you were drowning in an unhappy relationship of 4 years, a spot of sunshine after an endless streak of cloudy days...you were the person that gave me that 3 months of summer, the person that taught me what the word forever could mean, the person that spoke to me every single line in the book that there's nothing else anyone can say after this that I haven't already heard and so I know better now. 

Adrian, you were both a blessing and a lesson in the end. For weeks after, when I tried to understand and come to terms with the situation, I found myself wondering if I would for a moment wish we've never met so that I wouldn't have had to live through this. 3 months and 10 days on - the amount of time when I can finally say that for most parts, you were indeed a blessing to me, a great one. Of course I would not wish that I've never met you, not when you gave me 2010, not when you gave me a new outlook on so many things I didn't know before and couldn't have possibly known if it wasn't for you. Although the memory of that night of the 20th will never be of a pleasant one, I resurfaced after that - again something that might not have been possible if it wasn't of you and what you did.

Chapter 20 - The Adrian Files. You may have told me once, in a lifetime ago that I wasn't just another chapter but as it turns out, life had different plans for us. We were in the end, just a chapter in each other's book and while that chapter was being written, it was a page turner.

330 days into 2011

As tradition dictates, the end of final exams is closely followed by a blog post summing up the semester. However, that tradition was broken when the end of the first semester in July was followed up by.....nothing. So, this post will be different from the last 2 I've done so far (4 months after, life as a UNIVERSITY student  and 105 days of summer) as I'll be summing up my year (instead of just the semester) and not only on uni related stuffs.

Started university again after 105 days of summer holiday as a 2nd year student and true to the words of a final year friend, I did find my first semester of 2nd year to be somewhat hellish. Sat through some of the hardest units I've ever done in my 20 years and that definitely took a toll on me. Though for most part I survived it in the end, I didn't come out of it totally unscratched - something I am unlikely to forget anytime soon. I found second semester to be much more pleasant despite having twice the amount of workload (funny how things work out). The 3 months of second semester literally flew by and before I knew it, it was finals. Perhaps it was the 17 assignments (spanned across 4 units which included a group project) that kept me so busy I barely had any time for much else - like thinking about those little things in life that would have otherwise bothered me had I had too much time on my hands to think about them. Needless to say, I breathe in a great sigh of relief that uni's done for the year.

Although I didn't have the best of times for most of the first half of 2011, there were some good moments and there were some really great ones.

HIGHLIGHTS of 2011 (chronologically ordered):

January-February

Spent most of my summer right up till uni started again at the end of February with my (then) boyfriend. Those were great times.

Point Walter - one of the many beautiful places in Perth I got to visit during my 3 months summer break

31 January (Mon)

My 20th birthday. Navigated through my first maze at Abingdon Miniature Village, Mandurah (though the maze was in no way miniature), something I've always wanted to try and finally did! And playing supa golf (which is like miniature golf but played with bigger balls) at Oasis Resort, Swan Valley with my sister.

Halfway through the maze at Abingdon Miniature Village, Mandurah

Sister - about to tee of the supa golf ball at Oasis Resort, Swan Valley

10 February (Thu)

Adventure World, which was an extension of my birthday surprise.

21 February (Mon)

Driving UWA's golf buggy during orientation week for 1st years, when I volunteered as an O-Quest leader.

Transporting boxes across campus in the golf buggy

29 March (Tue)

Adrian's graduation (he graduated with an upper first class honours in pure mathematics).  

Adrian

28 April (Thu)

Met my mentor (under UWA's Career Mentor Link), Miriam (a Chemical Engineer with 13 years experience) for the first time today. She's one of the best people I've had the fortunate chance of meeting. 

16 July (Sat)

First bouncy castle and first toasted marshmallow at Susan's early birthday party. Yes, this could be perceived as somewhat slightly shocking that it's a first for a 20 year old when most would have had tried both sometime before they turn 10. Funnily or oddly enough, the opportunity never arose.

Sister and me on the bouncy castle *bounce bounce*

Toasted marshmallows

21 July (Thu)

First laser tag game at Darkzone, Willeton, which was a lot of fun. Hey, Barney was right after all! (HIMYM reference)

14 August (Sun)

Making chocolate fudge for the chemical and process engineering display at UWA's Open Day with my fellow CPEC (The Chemical and Process Engineering Club of UWA) committee members. Why make chocolate fudge at a chemical and process engineering display you ask? It's meant to demonstrate a batch reaction in a chemical process though the visitors were much more interested in the chocolate fudge (as I expected they would've been).

Various stages of making the chocolate fudge

L-R: Jon, Pruthvi, Ping, Raawi

31 August (Wed)

CPEC quiz night.

At Basement on Broadway

L-R: Janet, me, Siearra, Nisha, Jason, Chai Leen, Naava, Divya, Toan

14 October (Fri)

Visit to Boddington Gold Mine with my MINE1160 Introduction to Chemical and Resource Engineering class. MINE1160 was hands down the best, most interesting unit I've taken in 4 semesters. There's something about mining the Earth's natural resources that I find very fascinating.

At the south pit of Biddington Gold Mine

21 October (Fri)

Curves' Girl's Night In event in conjunction with breast cancer awareness month. Got my first tarot card reading that night (Tarot cards) - an extremely interesting experience.

Outside Curves

23 November (Wed)

The end of 2nd semester final exams, which officially marks the end of 2nd year and the halfway point of my degree.

13 November (Mon): The night before my first final exam, GENG2140 Modelling and Computer Analysis for Engineers

How my study desk looks like most nights during the semester - not a pretty sight

How my study desk looks like after exams - table cleared and walls stripped bare

.....

330 days of 2011 summed up in one blog post. Though interesting doesn't quite start to describe my year, it certainly is a good start. Now that exams are done and dusted, I have 95 days (93 after today) of summer holiday spanned out in front of me. Unlike last year, I honestly don't know how this summer will play out but I'll look forward to it nevertheless. If nothing else, time to recuperate from uni is always a great thing.

2 weeks notice

It's that time of year again when final exams draw near. 

My last paper in exactly 2 weeks will officially mark the end of 2nd year. If nothing else, I'll have that to look forward to.
Exam timetable:

15/11/11 (Tue), 9-12 pm: GENG2140 Modelling and Computer Analysis for Engineers

17/11/11 (Thu), 2-4 pm: MINE1160 Introduction to Chemical and Resource Engineering

19/11/11 (Sat), 2-5 pm: CHPR3433 Process Dynamics and Control

23/11/11 (Wed), 9-12 om: CHPR2432 Heat and Mass Transfer

A special shout out to all the people in the world that is now staring at a semester's worth of notes and/or greasing up your books with "study snacks" - I'll see you on the other side! 

Population 7 billion

I've been counting down to this day, clicking on the world population clock at least 5 times a day just for the fun of it, for weeks now and it's finally here! 31 October 2011 - the day the world's population hits 7 billion (see yourself among the 7 billion on 7BillionWorld.com).

According to BBC, I was the 5,353,869,981st person alive on Earth and the 80,449,529,270th person to have lived since history began (see what number you were on BBC.co.uk ). 

Since the day I was born (31 January 1991), an additional 1.7 billion people have populated the Earth and today, I am now 1 among 7,000,000,000. SEVEN BILLION! It's amazing just thinking about the shear number of people out there when I'm sitting here alone in my room, in front of my laptop, typing up this post. I don't think I personally know 1000 people. Maybe I do but any more past 2000 would be a very long stretch. 7,000,000,000 - that's a whole lot of people I don't know, I've never met, will probably never meet. 

It is predicted that we will reach population 10 billion in 2083 (when I'm 92 years old). I wonder where in the evolution of technology will the human race be then. Will we perhaps already be inhabiting a distant planet or have a star ship that roams the universe with a population of several hundred thousand in it or perhaps have built cities underwater like Otoh Gunga (Star Wars reference) or will we still be here, where we've always been, getting squeezed closer together with the limited amount of land space we have left? If I'm still alive when I'm 92 and this blog still lives on with me, I'll try to remember how I've imagined the world to be like all those years ago and perhaps do a quick jot down on the blog and say, "World, I'm now 92, you've reached the 10 billionth mark and by heavens, you weren't one bit how I imagined you to be like - you're even more amazing." I really would like to think that I'll get to say that one day. 

7 billion people. 7 billion stories. And mine is one of them.

Tarot cards

Went to a Girls' Night In event tonight in conjunction with Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The organizers had set up all sorts of "fun activities" for us (all the proceeds benefit breast cancer research). Throughout the night I had a facial, feet pamper, back massage, and a colour consultation (I was previously not aware that there exists such a thing where people actually do consultations on what colours "suit you best"  but if there exists stylists, why not colour consultants though when I shop I just buy whatever that looks nice).

Highlight of the evening would have to be the tarot card reading as I've always been extremely intrigued about tarot card readers (and all the likes that tells you about your past, present, future). Having never had a tarot card reading session before, I was very curious as to what she had to say. 

Despite what I perhaps always had in mind, my tarot card reader wasn't a gypsy, nor did she have a bandanna tied around her hair. 

*This was not her. 

When my turn came, I went into the room to get my tarot cards read by the tarot card reader lady (TR) who has 18 years experience under her belt (or so it says on the door). I saw that her tarot cards were aged and worn (gives a better illusion than a shiny brand new deck I would think).

For the first reading, I was asked to shuffle the cards and separate them into 3 piles. For the second, to choose 10 cards which she then laid out into a Celtic cross formation (jumping onto Google the moment I got home told me this).

*In case you were wondering, this was not my actual reading.

Throughout the 15 minutes reading, she made 3 "great predictions", foresaw 3 rather major events that will happen in the future (major as opposed to what I'll be having for lunch tomorrow). 

The thought that I've always had about knowing one's future is now that you know, will that knowledge of "knowing" the exact reason said event happened in the first place or will that knowledge of "knowing" cause you to alter the events?
For example:
Case 1

If you knew that you were going to get hit by a bus tomorrow morning while you're crossing the road at the zebra crossing, will knowing that make you stop at the junction (even though pedestrians have first priority at the crossing) and because you stopped, the person running behind you accidentally crashes into you making you sprawl on all fours on the road and the bus hits you then, not seeing you at all.
Was it that knowledge of knowing the future the reason you got hit by the bus?
Case 2

If some future telling device told you that you were going to get 100% in your final exam, is that knowledge that you will get 100% make you slack off that crucial final stretch that will eventually rob away your perfect marks?
If you had not known, was there perhaps that one tiny thing that you would have done that would have made a difference between an A+ and an A?
Case 3

Suppose you got on a time machine, went into the future, and saw yourself married to Z. Coming back to the present, will having that knowledge make you not meet X and Y who broke your heart that eventually led you to Z, having searched for Z till you found him and not giving X and Y a second thought when you first met them and hence in the end not meeting Z after all?

Paradox is making my head spin.

Coming back to the "3 great predictions", here they are:
1. I will be getting on an aeroplane (flying somewhere over water) within the next 12 months.
2. I will be getting a choice of two new jobs in which I'll finally settle with one.
3. A "new" boyfriend is on the horizon.

FIRST PREDICTION
"I will be getting on an aeroplane (flying somewhere over water) within the next 12 months."

I have no idea where I might possibly be going within the next 12 months. That's sometime between now and October 2012. I wonder where destination x may be. If I do get on a plane sometime between now and then, I can imagine myself looking back to today and saying, "Hey, her prediction came true after all."
Knowing that I will supposedly be flying somewhere, will that knowledge make me pack my bags and get on a plane? OR out of joyful spite, will I stubbornly not get on a plane within the next 12 months just so I can say that her prediction was "way off base"?

SECOND PREDICTION
"I will be getting a choice of two new jobs in which I'll finally settle with one."

I should only hope that she's foreseeing me getting offers for vacation work (as required by my Engineering degree). That would make this an awesome prediction.

THIRD PREDICTION
"A "new" boyfriend is on the horizon."

When she first said this, my heart skipped several beats. After all these months, the mention of anything related to you still makes me feel like I've had the wind knocked out of me. I didn't know whether to laugh or not at this proclamation of "a new boyfriend". Conversation went something like this:
TR: You have a boyfriend, don't you?
Me: No.
TR: I see that there will be one soon.
Me: I just broke up with my boyfriend. I don't want a "new" one.
TR: I see love coming back to you.
She went on to talk about my previous relationship and all the things she saw about that (some/most were pretty spot on) though I rather not put any of that conversation down.

So, 3 great predictions. Bunch of baloney? Maybe. In the off chance that any one or all of the predictions come true, I'll remember what she said and will probably wonder again then if it was indeed a pile of hokum.

Gotta love 'em Canadians

This is an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.

The radio conversation was released by the chief of naval operations on 10/10/95.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers, and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

My first light bulb

As a student, I don't think there's anything one would treasure more than having one of those light bulb moments when everything finally falls into place and the world makes perfect sense yet again.

Even though I must've had previous light bulbs (like when I first remember the sequence of numbers up to 10 or all 26 alphabets), the memory of this particular light bulb from "The Orange Problem" always comes back to me, even after more than a decade. Perhaps it's because it was the first time when I consciously heard my brain go, "Ting!"

The Orange Problem

I was in year 3. At the end of the year, I was to sit for an exam that would enable me to skip year 4 and go straight into year 5, should I ace it*.

Dad helped me prepare for the exam, going through practice exam papers and example problems. One popular repeated question in the mathematical section was one where they would ask something along the line of, "If 3 oranges cost $21, how much will 29 oranges cost?" (Oh my. I may have overpriced the oranges a tad bit.)

Ah, I know it's a simple question but I didn't think so then. Especially not when they would put it a lengthy word problem and I would have to extract all the information from it. Practice after practice I would get the answer wrong to that particular question and dad would go on to teach me, yet again, how to solve it. 

Until finally one afternoon (yes, I remember it was in the afternoon and I remember exactly where I was and who I was with), I was attempting another practice paper when I got to this dreaded lengthy word problem. I remember looking at it and thought, "Hey, what if for once I try EXACTLY what dad was saying instead of attempting my usual mumbo jumbo?" That resulted in me finally getting the answer right for the very first time. I was so excited with my new found knowledge that I squealed to my sister, who was beside me, "Look! I got it right!"

It was then I felt a row of light bulbs lit and though I didn't know it then, it will always be a point in my life that I will always remember.

*I did go on to ace the exam and went straight into year 5 the year after.