4 months after, life as a UNIVERSITY student

“Most people fear the unknown when they should fear the known. To live in the known is to live in the prison of the past and therefore in the imagination. The known is an illusion. The real reality is the unknown, so why not live in what is actually real?

When we step into the unknown we are free of the past. When we step into the unknown we are free of every limitation because fresh choices are available in every moment of our existence.” 
~ Deepak Chopra

This must be the longest stretch since I last said a peep in my blog. But then again the last 4 months have been nothing short of a never ending whirlwind (but more about that in a bit).

Let's see from my last post to today, what's new?

For starters, after a lifelong dream and mission, I finally landed myself in Australia, enrolled in University of Western Australia (Bachelor of Engineering), and (somehow miraculously) survived till the end of the first semester (officially finished my last exam paper yesterday at 12.10 noon).

Departed and reached the land of down under on the 16th of February. Still remember telling my parents I couldn't believe everything has come to a full circle. I remembered the time when I first went for the interview that got me this scholarship that has made it possible for me to do my A-Levels and to continue my final stretch of tertiary education overseas. I remembered my first day in college and the journey I went through during my A-Levels. I remembered the day I finally finish my A-Levels, got my results and knew that I've made it through.
Remembered all that has happened and wondering of all that will be.

In 3 days time, it will be exactly 4 months since I've been here. 4 months since I've first enrolled myself in uni. 4 months since I first knew what being in uni really felt like.

Is uni everything I've ever thought and dreamed off? My simple, surprising answer (or maybe not so surprising) is no. I've always, always thought that being in uni meant that you've finally have everything figured out. You go to university knowing everything that you need to know and cruise your way along with the wisdom and knowledge of a university student (doesn't the word alone, 'UNIVERSITY' seems like a big word?!). I thought being a uni student would mean, go to class and immediately know stuffs. I thought uni life meant getting to go to parties every other night or every other Friday night at least, joining (or not) sororities, seeing the 'Greek' life (or does this kind of thing only exist in America?), making a bunch of friends, acting a little bit crazy or being all intellectual. I thought, like in the movies, going to uni would be filled with all sorts of adventure and never ending possibilities.
But of course, now I know better. I finally made it (after 19 years of my life) to university and though perhaps knowing better, it shouldn't come to much of a shock that I don't have everything figured out (and it really does comes to a even bigger surprise to me that so doesn't everyone else). I still don't know everything that I need to know, still trying to find my footing and trying to make my way around without stumbling (but let me tell you it's been a rocky, hilly road). Learning in uni (though I really thought differently) is not much different than learning anywhere else at any other stage (A-Level, high school, etc). The only difference would be university level is far more advanced and also in uni they don't baby you in any way, meaning there's no one there to tell you to finish your assignments, no one to grill you to got to lectures, no one to spoon feed you all the answers, no one for you to run to when you don't know anything (don't want to be asking a 'stupid' question to a professor, would I? ...'PROFESSOR'...another big word!). Also, interestingly enough it used to be "Get an A, get an A!" Now all I hear around me is, "Well, as long as I pass". Another hard fact about uni: you could be that student that scored 90% all the way through your course, getting high distinctions in all your assignments, tests, and exams and graduate after 4 years or you could be that student that scored 50% all the way through your course, just making sure you pass and still graduate after 4 years (but of course the scholarship body prevents me from being the latter).

What an amazing insight I now have on the mysterious realm. Being here for 4 months has finally shown me the world that has always been shrouded in mystery, only seeing how it's like in movies, reading about it in books, or hearing about it from people around me.

Have I enjoyed the past 4 months? Though enjoy would not be the word I'd use, at least now I know what it's like. Could have I done anything differently? Perhaps. My first semester here was the worst 4 months I've ever been through. Not having anyone to ask my endless string of questions and feeling all alone is not a nice feeling. Not knowing a lot of things and feeling utterly lost is the worst form of torture there could be for a student. Even worse than that is the feeling of uncertainty and confusion before an exam. That never should have had to happen. Perhaps things could have gone differently though I can't really see how. But would have I done anything differently? I don't think so. You really can't say that you would knowing this is the path you've chosen and there's nothing you could do to change it. I am however better prepared for my second semester. Knowing what to expect and what it is like, I should have a better picture.

“Whatever you have experienced in your life is carved in stone. But today- at this very moment you have the power to make the shift from where you are to where you want to be. You are never stuck…you always have a choice. You just have to give yourself permission to grow, to love, to thrive.” ~David J.L.