On the 14th of February

"Saint Valentine's Day, commonly shortened to Valentine's Day, is an annual commemoration held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions." - Wikipedia

In 20 years, I've never once thought of finding out how this day originated and I finally got around to Google it. There are different versions of the history on the net though every single one centers around the same persons (Saint Valentine and the Roman emperor, Claudius). My favourite version/story (which could very well indeed be the "right" one) would have to be the one of how St. Valentine, a priest who had to marry couples in secret ceremonies when Claudius decided not to allow any more marriages since Claudius thought more men would join his army if they were not married and "tied down" by their wives and families. One night while St. Valentine was conducting a secret wedding ceremony, the Roman soldiers captured him and put him in jail. His punishment was death. In that time when he was in jail, many young people came to the jail to visit him and threw flowers and notes up his window to let him know that they too, believed in love. One of these young people was the daughter of the prison guard that befriended him and on the day that  St. Valentine was to die (14 February), he left her a note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty and he signed it, "From your Valentine."

That note started the custom of exchanging love messages on Valentine's day and since then expanded to more elaborated gifts, I would say, anywhere ranging from Valentine cards, chocolates, and flowers to romantic dinners and candlelit picnics at the park.

Every year on this day, people think about love and friendship. Everyone knows this day to be a day of  showing affection, a day when couples around the world does something out of the ordinary, when little girls squeals in delight when they receives an "I ♥ U" note from a boy, when grown ups take this opportunity to woo a lady or propose to her to make it a memorable one (not that in any way would any other day make a marriage proposal from your soulmate any less memorable). 

Over the years I found that people have different views on Valentine's Day and for a long time I've never given much thought about it, having always thought of it as a given. Perhaps that was due to the fact that I've never had someone (a romantic someone) to share it with (until this year, that is). Every year during Valentine's day, my friends and family would lovingly wish each other "Happy Valentine's day" for the gesture but that was about it.

There are those (many actually) that say guys use this day to make up for the days he neglected his partner and thinks that doing something (anything) on Valentine's day would make it all ok. There are those that say people shouldn't use this day as an excuse to do something special (may it be flowers or dinners) to celebrate their love when everyday should be a special day. There are those that say Valentine's day has become so commercialized and it makes people waste their money buying things like cards and flowers (booms the business of Hallmark and florists at least).

I can't speak for the guys (not being one though I do wonder now what is their opinion on it) but girls I know. On one end of the spectrum, we have girls that regards this day as any other day. On the other end, we have girls that would throw tantrums and mope and pout if their other half doesn't make the "extra effort". Somewhere in between those two ends, though perhaps they don't/won't kick up much fuss, girls would still come to expect their boyfriend/partner/fiance/husband to go the extra mile on this day and do something special.

Having never asked myself this, where would I place myself, on which end of the spectrum, now (and for the rest of my days) that I have my other half to share it with, someone that share the sentiment with many others and says we shouldn't make Valentine's day any more special than any other day as everyday is special to us. I have no reason to complain to that because indeed everyday is a special day. Everyday I love him more than ever. Everyday I count myself blessed to share yet another day with the most brilliant, wonderful guy I know. Every time still, after all this time, my heart leaps with joy when I see him. Finally faced with Valentine's day this year, I couldn't quite prepare myself to give it a proper thought of what I would've wanted, having never gotten the chance to celebrate it before and I remember on the midnight of Valentine's day I found myself  feeling conflicted. Sure, perhaps in the 21st century when the hype of the media centers around most things (everything), people conform to the norm of the society and celebrate Valentine's day just because that's what everyone does. Would that be such a terrible thing I wonder to celebrate being in love on the same day as everyone else? Because half the world does it, does it makes it any less special for any of the couples celebrating it? 

Though I won't be on the end of the spectrum of girls that would throw a tantrum, I think it would  indeed be nice to do something special on Valentine's day. Why not? Sure everyday is a special day but it's not every single day that I'd perhaps get a love note or a stem of rose or a box off chocolate or a candlelit dinner (though not necessarily any of those but something different than the rest of the days in a year).  For once maybe I would like to be like everyone else because though everyone (most) celebrates Valentine's day, everyone celebrates it differently and for their own special reasons. I don't see that as conforming to society's expectations unless of course you are celebrating this day especially BECAUSE society expects you to. People could celebrate being in love on this day and make it special in their own ways.

The terrible thing is (in my mind at least) knowing that my other half (so strongly) goes against this day, would I still want him to do something extra special for me, for us? Would he then do it just because of what I wrote and what I'm thinking when I know he doesn't want to? Yesterday on my first Valentine's day (our first together) he gave me the choice of we could do something special if I wanted to but how can I then when I know he does not? So, still I find myself conflicted. Perhaps I shouldn't be. It shouldn't matter much (or even at all) when I know he loves me more than anything in this world (as I love him) and he makes sure that I know it every single day but still somewhere in the back of mind, I still think it would be nice...just for the difference, no matter how tiny or how big, we could make this day to be.