When forever holds true

There are moments in your life that you'll always remember. Today is one of them.

CONGRATULATIONS sister for obtaining your PR in Australia!!! Blow the balloons, pop open the champagne, and let loose the streamers!! A little over 1 month before you turn 27 - you did it!

Today is a day you'll forever remember, when 26 years of hard work finally paid off. It wasn't an easy road but you got there. This is one of those very few times when you get a piece of news so great, so surreal, your whole life flashes before your eyes - the ups, the downs, the sideways, right up to this very moment and I for one am rendered speechless. Words alone cannot describe how enormous this moment truly is. Amazing. Simply amazing.

Love you always ♥

Sister all grins and smiles after receiving the email bearing the news that her PR application has been approved.

When it really is goodbye

"Paesi che non ho mai

veduto e vissuto con te,

adesso sì li vivrò.

Con te partirò

su navi per mari

che, io lo so,

no, no, non esistono più"

-Time to Say Goodbye 

(Sarah Brightman & Andrea Bocelli)

Funny how things turn out in the end. Just goes to show how you can never truly see the finish line until you're there.

Can exes be friends? A question that I've repeatedly asked myself for the past 9 months. 

In the days, weeks that followed that heart-wrenching day, I stubbornly insisted that we remained friends so that we'll continue to be in each other's lives. That was last August.

Fast forward to March. After not hearing from him for a solid 3 months, we met up and called a truce. I've come a long way since August. I didn't think it possible but I've come to a point where it doesn't hurt anymore. I think about what happened and I'll never forget the excruciating pain he put me through with everything that he did but they're now merely fragments of my memories. He leaving me alone for all those months gave me the time to distance whatever I was feeling and even though old me didn't like that one bit, new me see that I am strong enough to stand on my own and that he no longer dictates my happiness. I can't truly describe it but I finally felt liberated. It's an amazing feeling. Talking to him then, it was good knowing that me being happy didn't hang on whatever happened next. I've no strong desire for him to be in my life but if he makes the effort, I won’t oppose it. It’s strange when I so clearly remember how much I wanted for us to stay friends after we broke up – that was me trying to cling onto something that was long gone. 

Fast forward to May. I don't think the truce worked very well at all. I don't think I was asking for the moon when I said to make an effort. After all this time, it didn't matter to me anymore whether we were friends or not but after meeting up in March, I somewhat expected a little more from someone that shredded my heart all those months ago. It was then I realised: if I'm always going to expect for him to do something that he clearly won't, there was no point of pretending that it'll work out in the end.

And so I said goodbye. 

It was odd that when I finally said it, not an ounce of emotion rolled through me. This was the end and not a wave of nostalgia or a hint of sadness crossed my mind when I said goodbye to the one person that used to mean the world to me. 

When it really is goodbye – the final page of our book. I would not have had it any other way.

Small deeds

I don't why this keeps coming back to me now but this particular scene is on repeat in my head at the moment.

On my way back today, I passed by a family of 3 taking pictures of their (I'm assuming) son in his graduation robes (it's graduation month at my uni). The mom and dad were taking turns with the camera and I had already walked passed them when I turned back and asked the mom if she would like me to take a picture of the 3 of them together. They were so happy that I did. And of all coincidence, they had the EXACT same digital camera that I do. What are the odds of that?

What a peculiar story to share but something about that moment strikes me as significant. 

What was the happiest moment in your life?

When I was a little over a month away from turning 20, my (then) best friend picked a star from the clear night sky and placed it in my heart. 

Despite the events that unfolded after and despite the way things ended, I didn't know then that what will happen would happen. So, it would be that moment in time when I thought the promises of forever will always hold true - that was a pure, untainted, happy memory.

Ask me A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G!

14 February

..."The day of love"

Lately, if there was one thing that I think about when it comes to love is that, just like the desert sun, it can be extremely unforgiving and that's not always, if ever something we can control.

Nevertheless, I found a rather nice "Love defined by..." on the net and thought it'll make a nice post for this year. 

LOVE defined by...

a 5 year old girl: Love is when he slips me a little note on the playground that says, "I ♥ U"

an 8 year old girl: Love is when he takes my chocolates and comes back with its wrappers.

a 12 year old girl: Love is when we work on a project and he intentionally touches my hand to get a pen.

an 16 year old girl: Love is when we get caught bunking and he takes the blame.

a 21 year old: Love is when he values my opinion above all others and when he sticks by me when the hardest hits.

a 26 year old: Love is when he proposes to me with a rose and says, "You know I love you."

a 35 year old woman: Love is when he cleans the house after he sees that I'm tired.

A 45 year old woman: Love is when he's been faithful to you not because it's his duty to but because you are and will always be the only woman for him.

a 55 year old woman: Love is when he is ill but still cracks a joke just to make me laugh.

a 65 year old woman: Love is when he takes my hand and gives me the same loving smile that he first gave to me 40 years ago.

an 80 year old woman: Love is when he is taking his last breath he says, "I'm happy that I got to know what love really is."

Turning 21

For weeks the day has loomed ever closer and now, in just a few hours (~3 hours to midnight) I'll turn 21. Although I was born at 6.05 pm on the 31st, it is called birth-DAY.

Turning 21

It doesn't feel any different from turning 20, at least not physically. I suppose mentally, it does feel somewhat different. Who am I kidding? It does feel a hell lot different. Turning 20 was in itself a big turning point - it marked the end of an era of being a teen and I got a new first digit after a decade. Turning 21 will be an even bigger turning point. 

21. The first mark that you're "officially" an adult. 

21. The legal age all over the world for pretty much everything. 

21. I'll no longer get away with half the things I would have otherwise been able to before, not when the world expects a level of calm maturity of someone that's 21 (or one would think so anyway).

21. It hasn't really sank in yet. Somehow, I never quite imagine myself at 21. It seems somewhat surreal. I still can't quite imagine myself 21 even now. From this side of the room, it looks like a mighty big number.

21. Twenty one. T.W.E.N.T.Y. O.N.E. - S.U.R.R.E.A.L.

Just like the turn of a new year, at the turn of a new age, I can only hope that it'll be a good next 365 days - that's as good a birthday wish as any.

I wonder what 21 has in store for me.

"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest" (Larry Lorenzoni)

Final goodbyes and new beginnings

Since this is my first post of the year, I shall officially welcome 2012 with open arms

and also wish the world a happy new year *confetti and streamers!*

Today marks exactly 1 week since me and my sister moved into our new house. I've looked forward to moving for a long time now but still when the time to leave finally came, I was filled with thundering waves of nostalgia. Since the first moment I landed in Australia (exactly 2 years this coming February 16), I've only known one house, one home. Everything that has happened since has happened while I was living here. All the memories (good, great, bad, and terrible) that I've accumulated in Australia I've accumulated while sheltered under this roof.

Final goodbyes

A lot of my memories of my time here in Australia had strong associations with this house I've called home and in some odd ways, leaving the house felt like I was leaving behind a part of my life. For all the rat poo I pooed about this place (not having my own room was one), I really was and am going to miss it.

Me and my sister in front of the place we've called home for the past 2 years - taken right before we drove away to our new house, 15/1/12 (Sun)

Moving to our new house in a new suburb (a good 15 km away from our previous house) also meant that I'll no longer be able to continue my routine of going to Curves everyday as I have since July last year. This is yet another part of my life that I was going to miss. I had some great times here at the gym, met some wonderful people, and have genuinely enjoyed the workouts.

Me and one of my favourite trainers, Lynette - taken right after my final workout at Curves, 13/1/12 (Fri)

Over the course of six and a half months since me and my sister joined Curves, both of us managed to surpass the 100th workout milestone (135 for me and 105 for my sister) and hence making it on the milestones board on the wall.

Highest attendee for December 2011. Got highest attendee for 4 out of the 6 months that I was at Curves - not bad if I'd say so myself.

And finally, got my own balloon on the birthday board at Curves before my time there was up. Can you spot my name? 

New beginnings

Moving to a new place, just like a turnover of a new year, feels a lot like getting a new slate. This moment was as good as any to start anew - new place, new year, new beginnings. Though I have no way of knowing how 2012 is going to play out, how it's going to end, I can only hope that for most parts, it will be a good year.

To us all.