Married life

Earlier this year, two of my college friends got married to guys from the same college. I just realised it's been four years since I left college and started life in university, four years since I last saw them.

A few months later, since first hearing news of their wedding, I still think about my two married friends and my memories of them from college.

A memory that sticks out is of me and one of the two girls who I knew from living on the same floor at our college dorm. She's such a lovely, friendly person. She ended up marrying the guy she was dating when we were still in college so unless I'm mistaken, they've been together for a little over 4 years now! There's a little whimsical charm in knowing that you married your college sweetheart. The memory that I have of her directly relating to the guy she married was a conversation we had late one night. We were in a neighbour's room, just the two of us (though now that I think about it, I've no idea why we ended up there). We were sitting on the floor, chatting the night away. She was texting her boyfriend and I remember asking her if she ever thought of marrying him and she answered, though they've just started going out, they've talked about it and if it's fated she would like to. Four years later, they tied the knot. Things you tend to remember at times like these.

Married life. If I'm really honest, though I'm really happy for them, I envy my two college friends a tad bit. The times we live in now, there's a stigma (is that the right word?) of getting married and people are doing it much later in their lives. Most of our lives are so pre-determined: go to school, go to college, go to university, get a job, and finally when everything's settled, perhaps get married. I envy those that get the choice when many others are tied to responsibilities. I often wonder what having the choice would feel like. We never know what tomorrow brings but if it was up to you, what would you like it to be?

The Impossible Choice

Have you ever loved someone more than anything in this world, more than life itself?

Someone once told me a story from a movie. Neither I nor said person remembers what the movie is called now. It goes like this -

Setting: India

Plot (the actual plot is a tad different but the gist of it is this): There was an Indian man (lets name him Khan) and an English woman (lets name her Jane). If I'm remembering correctly, it was during the war. Khan was to help Jane get out of India and back to England (I think she was initially there to teach English but the war was so bad she had to go back to her home country). So now they're on this perilous journey across India, dodging the baddies that are out to kill them and trying to reach the ship that will bring Jane back to England. Lo' and behold, in the end Khan and Jane falls in love.

Plot twist: How wonderful that the main characters fall in love, oh so sweet! But then...BUT THEN...they reach the ship and Jane says to Khan, "Come back to England with me. We can start a new life there and live happily ever after." To which Khan replies, "I'm sorry darling, I love you but I can't. My life is here, my family is here. I can't leave my responsibilities." With that, Jane leaves for England and Khan stays in India. They never meet again.

The ending: Many, many, many years later, Jane, who is widowed with grandchildren returns to India. She's very old now. She returns to India to look for Khan because despite their years apart, Khan has always been her one true love. She finds Khan's wife (lets name her Fatima) and discovers that Khan has died a few years before. Fatima tells Jane that even though Khan was a good husband, Jane has always been his one true love.

This story has haunted me since I first heard it a couple months ago. Why is it never fair and why must it always be so difficult when so many have it easy? When you make the choices that you do for the reasons that you must, who are you making them for? 

Alas, the path is still enveloped in a thick foggy mist to which I see no end.

One thing about the sweetest, nicest memories that I have and was fortunate enough to experience is that memories fade and one day, I worry that I'll wake up and it would've all just been a dream. What is real?

How can I ever forget

The sun that shines so bright

The warm glow that lits my path

An everlasting light

At World's End

...The year Mayans predicted the world will end. It was such a big buildup to D-day, 21st December but over a week later the Earth is still rotating as it should. Mankind survived; not that there was an apocalypse to survive in the first place.

Been so preoccupied this whole year especially this past semester that I haven’t gotten a chance to write as much as I wanted to. Testament in the huge gaps between one blog post to another and that I've only managed to write 9 posts this year comparing to the 41 that I wrote last year. Today being the last day 2012, thought I'd sit myself down and write my traditional end of semester/end of year post (past ones that I've written: 330 days into 2011, 105 days of summer, and 4 months after, life as a UNIVERSITY student).

For most parts, it has been an excellent year. 2012, thank you for being good to me.

Top 10 highlights? Top 10 highlights!

(Chronologically ordered)

1. Moving House – 15 January 2012 (Sat)

Because for the first time in 21 years, I now have my own room – a place I get to call my own, the little retreat that I get to go to at the end of each day and be by myself when I feel like shutting out the world. I love my room. 

Photoshop skills at its best

2. Parent’s Perth Visit – 3 to 25 February 2012

Because for the first time in a long, long time (longer than my memory can immediately recall), all 4 family members were together for an extended period of time. Had a great time while mom and dad were here. Got to visit many places and see many things. Reason for visit: sister’s graduation. Congratulations, sister for obtaining your Bachelor of Pharmacy and subsequently throughout 2012 obtaining your PR and passing all your exams to be a qualified, licensed Pharmacists – doing what you love most. 

Overlooking the Southern Ocean (or possibly the Indian Ocean) at Leeuwin-Naturaliste National Park, Yallingup – one of the many places family traveled to during the summer

3. Paintball – 14 April 2012 (Sat)

Because this has been something I wanted to do all my life and I finally got to experience shooting a pallet of paint at 91 m/s. Went with sister to Delta Paint Paintball, which is situated at the edge of civilization (it was a long drive) and though we were playing with inexperienced kids (hey, so was I but these kids clearly did not understand that it is not cool to shoot someone at close range) I had a good time. Nasty bruises at the end of the day (sister got the worst of it) but I always like them battle scars (or battle bruises in this case). Good party story as any.

Base camp at Delta Force Paintball, Muchea

4. CPEC’s 1st Engineering Graduate and Vacation Networking Evening – 15 May 2012 (Tue)

Because it was the first time that I (together with the rest of the committee) organized something this big and successfully did it. Like most event planning, we faced many, many difficulties when trying to pull this event together. Possibly the biggest hurdle was this being the first time our club organized such an event, we were "doing so blindly" without any point of reference to speak off. We had no guidelines and no company contacts to start with. Nevertheless, after weeks of planning (on top of having other university commitments…assignments to do to name one), on 15th May we pulled in 10 engineering companies and had an attendance of a little over 100 students at the event – success at its best! Being appointed masters of ceremony by the president was a nice icing. A night to remember.

Organizing committee at the end of the night

5. Poet’s Corner – 26 May 2012 (Sat)

Because my submission made it on the UWA digital sign on the corner of Mounts Bay Road and Hackett Drive, Perth. With a restriction of 21 characters per line for three lines, whipped this up:

Infinitely beyond

Past what is gone;

A lost man’s torment.

6. Malaysia Holiday – 1 to 24 July 2012

Because (and there really is no better way to say this) people visiting Malaysia from Australia eat like kings. No doubt Malaysia has some of the best foods around at (when compared to Australia) an astonishingly cheap price. And as always, getting to see mum and dad was really nice.

Sate for dinner at Sate Kajang Hj. Samuri, Selangor - one of my all time favourite dishes 

7. 3rd year, 2nd Semester of University – 30 July to 2 November 2012

Because despite this semester being the hardest, most time consuming semester I’ve had in 3 years, I am finally beginning to see the light at the end of this long, pitch black tunnel. It was a good knowledge gaining semester. Really like the four units that I took this semester (Special Topics in Mineral Processing, Mining Management, Process Synthesis and Design, and Unit Operations and Unit Processes) because these units showcase real world applications for Chemical Engineering. No idea what it meant to be a Chemical Engineer in my 3 years of university but now I do. I’m seeing a bright, bright light. Hats off to dad for being a great study buddy throughout semester.

8. Appointed Vice President of CPEC – 21 August 2012 (Tue)

Because it is an honour given to me by my peers. Very few know how much The Chemical and Process Engineering Club of UWA truly means to me (I’ll get to that in another blog post when time permits) and being entrusted a top position is simply ace. Won by one vote and since then I can truly appreciate the difference a single person can do. May the club go to greater heights next year.

9. Alcoa of Australia Site Visit – 11 October 2012 (Thu)

Because this is the best site visit that I’ve ever been to. Visited Huntly Mine, Pinjarra Refinery, and the Alcoa Discovery Centre. Learned a lot from the site visit. An invaluable experience! On top of that, wrote an article on the site visit and got it published in The Western Australian Joint Chemical Engineering Committee's (JCEC) end of year edition newsletter. Sweet!

Screenshot of the published article

10. Professional Practicum/Vacation Work in a Gold Mine – for 12 weeks starting 3 December 2012 (Mon)

Because I now have something to look forward to at the end of my degree. The number one thing that I learned from this experience is that I like working out in the field. Being both outside and in the office is a good combination. I like that I get to "touch things". If I am fortunate enough to be employed in the mining industry after I graduate, then that will just be the bomb diggity. 

Always remembered

First blog post since the start of a hectic semester and it's nothing good.

Today I got news that someone dear to me has lost her 4 year old son in an accident. I can't believe it. He had years ahead of him and just like that, his future has been wiped cleaned. You never, ever expect someone so young to be taken away from you so unexpectedly until they do. My thoughts are with the dear boy's mum and dad.

Gone forever but always remembered.

RIP Cameron Bryant. 

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay

The following text has been extracted from one of my favourite books by Suzanne Collins. Possibly my favourite paragraph in any books I've read (top 3 for sure). SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT READ on if you haven't read the book and will be sometime in the future.

On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that.

So after, when he whispers," You love me. Real or not real?"

I tell him, "Real."

When forever holds true

There are moments in your life that you'll always remember. Today is one of them.

CONGRATULATIONS sister for obtaining your PR in Australia!!! Blow the balloons, pop open the champagne, and let loose the streamers!! A little over 1 month before you turn 27 - you did it!

Today is a day you'll forever remember, when 26 years of hard work finally paid off. It wasn't an easy road but you got there. This is one of those very few times when you get a piece of news so great, so surreal, your whole life flashes before your eyes - the ups, the downs, the sideways, right up to this very moment and I for one am rendered speechless. Words alone cannot describe how enormous this moment truly is. Amazing. Simply amazing.

Love you always ♥

Sister all grins and smiles after receiving the email bearing the news that her PR application has been approved.

When it really is goodbye

"Paesi che non ho mai

veduto e vissuto con te,

adesso sì li vivrò.

Con te partirò

su navi per mari

che, io lo so,

no, no, non esistono più"

-Time to Say Goodbye 

(Sarah Brightman & Andrea Bocelli)

Funny how things turn out in the end. Just goes to show how you can never truly see the finish line until you're there.

Can exes be friends? A question that I've repeatedly asked myself for the past 9 months. 

In the days, weeks that followed that heart-wrenching day, I stubbornly insisted that we remained friends so that we'll continue to be in each other's lives. That was last August.

Fast forward to March. After not hearing from him for a solid 3 months, we met up and called a truce. I've come a long way since August. I didn't think it possible but I've come to a point where it doesn't hurt anymore. I think about what happened and I'll never forget the excruciating pain he put me through with everything that he did but they're now merely fragments of my memories. He leaving me alone for all those months gave me the time to distance whatever I was feeling and even though old me didn't like that one bit, new me see that I am strong enough to stand on my own and that he no longer dictates my happiness. I can't truly describe it but I finally felt liberated. It's an amazing feeling. Talking to him then, it was good knowing that me being happy didn't hang on whatever happened next. I've no strong desire for him to be in my life but if he makes the effort, I won’t oppose it. It’s strange when I so clearly remember how much I wanted for us to stay friends after we broke up – that was me trying to cling onto something that was long gone. 

Fast forward to May. I don't think the truce worked very well at all. I don't think I was asking for the moon when I said to make an effort. After all this time, it didn't matter to me anymore whether we were friends or not but after meeting up in March, I somewhat expected a little more from someone that shredded my heart all those months ago. It was then I realised: if I'm always going to expect for him to do something that he clearly won't, there was no point of pretending that it'll work out in the end.

And so I said goodbye. 

It was odd that when I finally said it, not an ounce of emotion rolled through me. This was the end and not a wave of nostalgia or a hint of sadness crossed my mind when I said goodbye to the one person that used to mean the world to me. 

When it really is goodbye – the final page of our book. I would not have had it any other way.