Thursday, September 30, 2010

The discarded girl and happy endings

You know those movies you watch/books you read that has the plot of a couple where the girl is very smitten with the guy and though the guy doesn't feel as strongly for her, still they're together and she goes out of her way to please the guy in more ways than you can imagine hoping one day he'll love her back and then out of the blue, an 'odd, eccentric' girl comes along (not into the guy at all) and for some reason they guy falls in love with this new girl?
Surely you must know what I'm talking about.
And oddly enough, thinking back at all the movies/tv shows/books that had this plot, the second eccentric girl is ALWAYS portrayed as the 'right' girl for the ALWAYS portrayed dashing, 'perfect' guy and how you just know it's a meant-to-be match and surely they must end up together in the end because you just don't mess with fate and surprise, surprise-they do! Somewhere in the middle, the first smitten girl (ALWAYS portrayed as somewhat pathetic, sometimes even bitchy and you wonder why she doesn't get a life) fades away or if not towards the end she gets 'discarded' and I can't say I've ever really given a second thought on the 'discarded' girl when the story so strongly centers around this new girl and how they guy relentlessly pursues her.
Not till last night had I've ever given any proper thought to the poor discarded girl (who's to say she's even remotely pathetic or bitchy anyway?) and how she's practically devoted her life to him (as pathetic as that sounds, you'd be surprise with what love can do to your head). Despite knowing she's being a stubborn fool for someone that clearly doesn't give her a second thought, she still goes out of her way to please him. Look what happens in the end. Poor, poor girl. Was all that for nothing? How cruel of life.
Now I wonder what ever happened to her. How unfair for a story to always be told in a way to shine on the happy ending. Almost always no one gives this discarded girl a second thought, having a rush of affection for the writer to pair up the 'right' couple together in the end. For once I'd like to hear the side of the first girl. How terribly painful it must've felt AND (for lack of a better phrase) her road to recovery (hoping she does recover from it, that is).

How cruel of life to make love so bloody difficult.
How cruel of life to make relationships so bloody complicated.
How cruel of life to make feelings so vulnerable and to ever let people put their hearts on the line only to have it ripped.
Is it worth it though? I'm only 19 but maybe because I am 19 I'm seeing things more clearly now. Like how I've always had this fairy tale ending fantasy in my head , thinking everything would end up being as easy as breathing only to discover I don't think there's anything harder you'll face in your life (I'm not kidding!) than finding your other half. What guarantee do you have that he's out there anyway? None! Only books and faceless people reassuring you that he is. What do these people know? So easy to say but doing is always, ALWAYS another thing altogether.
And say you do meet your other half. How do you know this is 'the right' other half? So, you go through all the motions of going out 'casually' (I'm beginning to distaste that word-it's becoming way too overrated for my liking-not that I'm trying to sound bitter or anything), becoming a couple (apparently 'boyfriend-girlfriend' is a tag some would rather do without. Good grace, it doesn't always have to be all that terrible), get engaged, and finally get married. 
Then what? If you're one of the lucky 50% of the statistics that gets a long, happy marriage then that's great! I honestly dare say I envy you. If only everyone is as lucky the world would be a much happier place.
What if you're part of the other 50% whose marriages end in divorce? Such a depressing thought for a romantic like me.  It's depressing mainly because now I start to think (when I've never before this) that you might've vowed to love your (let say for the sake of argument) husband  (or your wife) forever but just like that one day he tells you he doesn't love you anymore, sometimes right out of the blue since he's been harboring his feeling all this while. And there you are shattered, thinking of all the times you thought things were great but only now you think it's all pretend and you feel like the biggest fool knowing all this while everything you do was for someone that was feeling next to nothing for you. What's real anymore? You can't be sure. 
How about people that have affairs when they're married? Isn't having a spouse not good enough anymore? Why, WHY?!
Past few months alone I've seen and thought of all the oh so many things that could go wrong. They're nothing short of sad thoughts.
Will there ever be a happy ending? Don't go telling me there will be because unless you've got a mystical future telling device and you'll know for sure everything is going to be fine, you know squat just like the rest of us so telling someone there will be a happy ending when you really don't know will just be another lie you tell in your lifetime. I know those words are only meant to be kind and helpful, but after a while, you just might start to think that it sorta stops being true. Of course everyone hopes life sorts itself out/karma will grant you your share/the circle will end up in a nice loop. But then again, what if it doesn't?

2 comments:

  1. Brilliant Celastra - that was a great read! It's good to have some realism in a blog.

    Tim Minchin (an ex-UWA student in fact and now famous musician/comedian) also expresses such idea elegantly with his song "If I didn't have you" which scorns the idea of "the one" as mathematically impossible:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gaid72fqzNE

    http://www.6lyrics.com/if_i_didn_t_have_you4-lyrics-tim_minchin.aspx

    I suppose we just live and mathematics does the rest.

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  2. Glad you didn't view that as somewhat of a bitter side of me. Hell yeah! Realism at its best:D

    I don't think I've heard of a better, funnier song in a very long time than Tim Minchin's 'If I Didn't Have You'. It made me laugh. Highlight of my day:) Very interesting view of things-along the line of what I was saying only in a more lyrical, poetical, mathematical way:D

    Favorite part:
    'And our variables would probably have been altered by the absence of that event
    To have meant the advent of a tangential narrative in which we don't meet
    Which is to say there exists a theoretical hypothetical parallel life
    Where what is is not as it is and I am not your husband and you are not my wife'

    ...Just goes to show yet again how a sequence of events leads you to where you are today. Moments like those you wonder what just might've happened had you not (____)-in Tim's case if his first girlfriend, Jackie, hadn't dumped him after he kissed Winston's ex-girlfriend Neah at Steph's party back in 1993. Lol

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