The last chair

When I was in Year 6, my school called in a motivational speaker to speak to the students before our big end-of-primary-school exam (the first out of the three major exams a Malaysian student takes in his/her primary + high school life).

All the Year 6 students were seated in rows of 20 in the hall and in the middle of the session, the speaker (lets call him Tim) called out our head prefect to stand beside him. Tim then said that he wants to do an activity with us. He said for everyone to stand up and form a circle around the hall and we were to bring our chairs with us. 

So, the 300 or so of us stood up and carried/dragged our chairs into a circle around the hall. The only remaining chair in the middle of the hall was the head prefect's chair as she was still standing beside Tim.

Tim then said, "Alright, everyone bring your chairs back and sit in the rows as you were before."

So, the 300 or so of us carried/dragged our chairs back and arranged them into the original rows and sat down. 

Again, Tim asked us to form a circle around the hall, bringing our chairs with us. 

And again, the 300 or so of us stood up and carried/dragged our chairs into a circle around the hall and the only remaining chair in the middle of the hall was the head prefect's chair as she was still standing beside Tim. 

Tim then said, "Alright, everyone bring your chairs back and sit in the rows as you were before."

So, the 300 or so of us carried/dragged our chairs back and arranged them into the original rows and sat down. 

And what do you know? Tim again said, "Everyone, form a circle around the hall and bring your chairs with you."

We did as we were told and formed a circle as before with our chairs and only the head prefect's chair remains alone in the middle of the hall.

As we were standing in the circle wondering what was the point of this pointless exercise, a classmate of mine suddenly ran to the middle of the hall and carried the head prefect's chair into the circle. 

And THAT was what Tim was waiting for.

It was a rather creative, clever exercise to get us moving about in the midst of a long session and at the same time teach us something. What Tim was really trying to say was for us to never leave anyone behind and to always help each other. That was the moral of the exercise: no one gets left behind.

Here I am, 11 years later and still the memory of that day nestles in my mind and I find myself thinking about the lesson of "no one gets left behind" - not in the hall on that day, not in a class when we learn, not in an exam when we study, not in a battle, not in the war, not anywhere, not ever.

A friend for life

Everlasting Love

- Carl Carlton

Found myself wondering why I've always been so fascinated with “being married”. Finally today, the blindingly obvious answer came to me. In an idealistic world (because I know not every marriage turns out so) and what I would wish for myself, being married is like having a friend for life, forever there by your side; a companion to share the world with; a partner in crime; a constant soothing presence when life throws you in a ditch. And that’s more than anyone could ever hope for.

The "right answer"

As the rejection letters pour in, I am forced to contemplate on all the things that has gone wrong and how much better I can tailor my answers to suit what they're looking for. The thing about interview-like questions in applications is: how much different can one answer be from another? I appreciate the possible reasons to why companies resort in asking such questions (weed out the nasties) but in all honesty, if you've already taken that much effort in applying, no one would dare answer the questions in any degree of badness, not intentionally anyway. 

Recently, I had to complete a psychometric test that took a few hours. I remember reading at the start, "Answer the questions honestly as there are no right answers. The test is designed to help us better understand the applicants" (or something along that line). So it said that there are no right answers..."no right answers". Is that really the case though? If by some off chance that whatever you answered deemed you to be a complete lunatic or perhaps even a sloth-like human that's not too bright, then I do suppose that there were indeed right answers that they were looking for. 

What will it take for someone to give you that one small chance that you're looking for, for someone to give you the much awaited, "Yes"?

Married life

Earlier this year, two of my college friends got married to guys from the same college. I just realised it's been four years since I left college and started life in university, four years since I last saw them.

A few months later, since first hearing news of their wedding, I still think about my two married friends and my memories of them from college.

A memory that sticks out is of me and one of the two girls who I knew from living on the same floor at our college dorm. She's such a lovely, friendly person. She ended up marrying the guy she was dating when we were still in college so unless I'm mistaken, they've been together for a little over 4 years now! There's a little whimsical charm in knowing that you married your college sweetheart. The memory that I have of her directly relating to the guy she married was a conversation we had late one night. We were in a neighbour's room, just the two of us (though now that I think about it, I've no idea why we ended up there). We were sitting on the floor, chatting the night away. She was texting her boyfriend and I remember asking her if she ever thought of marrying him and she answered, though they've just started going out, they've talked about it and if it's fated she would like to. Four years later, they tied the knot. Things you tend to remember at times like these.

Married life. If I'm really honest, though I'm really happy for them, I envy my two college friends a tad bit. The times we live in now, there's a stigma (is that the right word?) of getting married and people are doing it much later in their lives. Most of our lives are so pre-determined: go to school, go to college, go to university, get a job, and finally when everything's settled, perhaps get married. I envy those that get the choice when many others are tied to responsibilities. I often wonder what having the choice would feel like. We never know what tomorrow brings but if it was up to you, what would you like it to be?

The Impossible Choice

Have you ever loved someone more than anything in this world, more than life itself?

Someone once told me a story from a movie. Neither I nor said person remembers what the movie is called now. It goes like this -

Setting: India

Plot (the actual plot is a tad different but the gist of it is this): There was an Indian man (lets name him Khan) and an English woman (lets name her Jane). If I'm remembering correctly, it was during the war. Khan was to help Jane get out of India and back to England (I think she was initially there to teach English but the war was so bad she had to go back to her home country). So now they're on this perilous journey across India, dodging the baddies that are out to kill them and trying to reach the ship that will bring Jane back to England. Lo' and behold, in the end Khan and Jane falls in love.

Plot twist: How wonderful that the main characters fall in love, oh so sweet! But then...BUT THEN...they reach the ship and Jane says to Khan, "Come back to England with me. We can start a new life there and live happily ever after." To which Khan replies, "I'm sorry darling, I love you but I can't. My life is here, my family is here. I can't leave my responsibilities." With that, Jane leaves for England and Khan stays in India. They never meet again.

The ending: Many, many, many years later, Jane, who is widowed with grandchildren returns to India. She's very old now. She returns to India to look for Khan because despite their years apart, Khan has always been her one true love. She finds Khan's wife (lets name her Fatima) and discovers that Khan has died a few years before. Fatima tells Jane that even though Khan was a good husband, Jane has always been his one true love.

This story has haunted me since I first heard it a couple months ago. Why is it never fair and why must it always be so difficult when so many have it easy? When you make the choices that you do for the reasons that you must, who are you making them for? 

Alas, the path is still enveloped in a thick foggy mist to which I see no end.

One thing about the sweetest, nicest memories that I have and was fortunate enough to experience is that memories fade and one day, I worry that I'll wake up and it would've all just been a dream. What is real?

How can I ever forget

The sun that shines so bright

The warm glow that lits my path

An everlasting light

At World's End

...The year Mayans predicted the world will end. It was such a big buildup to D-day, 21st December but over a week later the Earth is still rotating as it should. Mankind survived; not that there was an apocalypse to survive in the first place.

Been so preoccupied this whole year especially this past semester that I haven’t gotten a chance to write as much as I wanted to. Testament in the huge gaps between one blog post to another and that I've only managed to write 9 posts this year comparing to the 41 that I wrote last year. Today being the last day 2012, thought I'd sit myself down and write my traditional end of semester/end of year post (past ones that I've written: 330 days into 2011, 105 days of summer, and 4 months after, life as a UNIVERSITY student).

For most parts, it has been an excellent year. 2012, thank you for being good to me.

Top 10 highlights? Top 10 highlights!

(Chronologically ordered)

1. Moving House – 15 January 2012 (Sat)

Because for the first time in 21 years, I now have my own room – a place I get to call my own, the little retreat that I get to go to at the end of each day and be by myself when I feel like shutting out the world. I love my room. 

Photoshop skills at its best

2. Parent’s Perth Visit – 3 to 25 February 2012

Because for the first time in a long, long time (longer than my memory can immediately recall), all 4 family members were together for an extended period of time. Had a great time while mom and dad were here. Got to visit many places and see many things. Reason for visit: sister’s graduation. Congratulations, sister for obtaining your Bachelor of Pharmacy and subsequently throughout 2012 obtaining your PR and passing all your exams to be a qualified, licensed Pharmacists – doing what you love most. 

Overlooking the Southern Ocean (or possibly the Indian Ocean) at Leeuwin-Naturaliste National Park, Yallingup – one of the many places family traveled to during the summer

3. Paintball – 14 April 2012 (Sat)

Because this has been something I wanted to do all my life and I finally got to experience shooting a pallet of paint at 91 m/s. Went with sister to Delta Paint Paintball, which is situated at the edge of civilization (it was a long drive) and though we were playing with inexperienced kids (hey, so was I but these kids clearly did not understand that it is not cool to shoot someone at close range) I had a good time. Nasty bruises at the end of the day (sister got the worst of it) but I always like them battle scars (or battle bruises in this case). Good party story as any.

Base camp at Delta Force Paintball, Muchea

4. CPEC’s 1st Engineering Graduate and Vacation Networking Evening – 15 May 2012 (Tue)

Because it was the first time that I (together with the rest of the committee) organized something this big and successfully did it. Like most event planning, we faced many, many difficulties when trying to pull this event together. Possibly the biggest hurdle was this being the first time our club organized such an event, we were "doing so blindly" without any point of reference to speak off. We had no guidelines and no company contacts to start with. Nevertheless, after weeks of planning (on top of having other university commitments…assignments to do to name one), on 15th May we pulled in 10 engineering companies and had an attendance of a little over 100 students at the event – success at its best! Being appointed masters of ceremony by the president was a nice icing. A night to remember.

Organizing committee at the end of the night

5. Poet’s Corner – 26 May 2012 (Sat)

Because my submission made it on the UWA digital sign on the corner of Mounts Bay Road and Hackett Drive, Perth. With a restriction of 21 characters per line for three lines, whipped this up:

Infinitely beyond

Past what is gone;

A lost man’s torment.

6. Malaysia Holiday – 1 to 24 July 2012

Because (and there really is no better way to say this) people visiting Malaysia from Australia eat like kings. No doubt Malaysia has some of the best foods around at (when compared to Australia) an astonishingly cheap price. And as always, getting to see mum and dad was really nice.

Sate for dinner at Sate Kajang Hj. Samuri, Selangor - one of my all time favourite dishes 

7. 3rd year, 2nd Semester of University – 30 July to 2 November 2012

Because despite this semester being the hardest, most time consuming semester I’ve had in 3 years, I am finally beginning to see the light at the end of this long, pitch black tunnel. It was a good knowledge gaining semester. Really like the four units that I took this semester (Special Topics in Mineral Processing, Mining Management, Process Synthesis and Design, and Unit Operations and Unit Processes) because these units showcase real world applications for Chemical Engineering. No idea what it meant to be a Chemical Engineer in my 3 years of university but now I do. I’m seeing a bright, bright light. Hats off to dad for being a great study buddy throughout semester.

8. Appointed Vice President of CPEC – 21 August 2012 (Tue)

Because it is an honour given to me by my peers. Very few know how much The Chemical and Process Engineering Club of UWA truly means to me (I’ll get to that in another blog post when time permits) and being entrusted a top position is simply ace. Won by one vote and since then I can truly appreciate the difference a single person can do. May the club go to greater heights next year.

9. Alcoa of Australia Site Visit – 11 October 2012 (Thu)

Because this is the best site visit that I’ve ever been to. Visited Huntly Mine, Pinjarra Refinery, and the Alcoa Discovery Centre. Learned a lot from the site visit. An invaluable experience! On top of that, wrote an article on the site visit and got it published in The Western Australian Joint Chemical Engineering Committee's (JCEC) end of year edition newsletter. Sweet!

Screenshot of the published article

10. Professional Practicum/Vacation Work in a Gold Mine – for 12 weeks starting 3 December 2012 (Mon)

Because I now have something to look forward to at the end of my degree. The number one thing that I learned from this experience is that I like working out in the field. Being both outside and in the office is a good combination. I like that I get to "touch things". If I am fortunate enough to be employed in the mining industry after I graduate, then that will just be the bomb diggity. 

Always remembered

First blog post since the start of a hectic semester and it's nothing good.

Today I got news that someone dear to me has lost her 4 year old son in an accident. I can't believe it. He had years ahead of him and just like that, his future has been wiped cleaned. You never, ever expect someone so young to be taken away from you so unexpectedly until they do. My thoughts are with the dear boy's mum and dad.

Gone forever but always remembered.

RIP Cameron Bryant.