Curiosity killed the cat

Funnily enough, I can remember clear as crystal when I first heard this saying. It was one of those moments that'll stay with me for a long, long time or I might even go as far as saying forever. Maybe because it turn out to be a ROFLMAO moment for me.

About 2 years ago (must've been late July or early August of 2008), I was, lack of a better word 'stalking' a guy in my college (harmless really...mostly I just tend to notice him more than anyone else around, one of those 'silly crushes') and my poor roommates had to put up with my daily inputs of how great and wonderful he is (still is someone I highly respect and admire though I don't, you'll be happy to know 'stalk' him anymore).
And so, one day I must've been saying something about him (I can't remember what now) when my dear roommate said, "You know, curiosity killed the cat."
I think that must've been the FIRST time I heard that saying and for some reason I thought it was BEYOND hilarious and burst out laughing. Few minutes later I was still laughing! Months after that, it became one of those moments that me and my roommate look back on and say, "Remember that time when..." Ah, brings tears of laughter to my eyes even now. She'll probably be reading this laughing too!

Ever since I heard the saying I always, always wonder what exactly was the cat so curious about that got itself killed? It was something I debated constantly with my roommate about. 'Curiosity killed the rat' makes more sense to me. The rat was curious about the cheese, took a nibble, and got trapped shut. That makes perfect sense. The cat? That I don't know. Don't cats supposingly after all have 9 lives? But still, somehow the cat got itself immortalized in these words as being curious and then got itself killed. So, I Googled it (actually I 'Yahoo!-ed' it but for some odd reason we find that we tend to say we 'Google' everything even though we use different search engines) and found a story on how somewhere in America (New York? Can't remember now...it was some time ago that I read the article) there was a cat (true story!) that got 'curious' about the chimney, climbed up and got itself stuck. The owner called the fire department and after many fruitless attempts...they still couldn't reach the cat! So in the end the cat died in the chimney. Tragic...but wait! There is a 'happy twist'.

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure neither the owner, fire department, or for that matter the cat found anything 'happy' about it dying (lets have a few minutes of silence for the dead cat. May you rest in peace curious cat).

The twist for me is this: at least the cat died knowing. Doesn't that make the death of the cat not been in vain. The cat didn't die for nothing. It was curious what was up the chimney, climbed up to explore, probably found nothing but at least it's curiosity was answered.

Doesn't that make it worthwhile? Does it? Imagine being curious but never doing anything about it. You'll live your life always wondering what could have been and you'll never know.

But we should ask ourselves, is death too big a price to pay for being curious and having our curiosity answered? Is 'dying, knowing' worth it? Would you rather have lived a life always wondering?

Could we then, blame Pandora for opening the box? Though the box unleashed a terrible death to everyone else, at least Pandora died knowing what was in the box and that my friend, she alone knew.

So, ask yourself this: Had YOU been in Pandora's place, would you have opened the box?

Unspoken words

"Thank you for sparing time to be interviewed recently. We regret we are unable to offer you a position as a member of the '...' team on this occasion.

Competition for places was extremely fierce this year. The criteria for selection was not only how well each person would do as an individual, but also we needed to make sure we had a mix of subjects and interests. This is because we work hard to match those being called to those doing the calling and a range of activities is therefore vital."

So, I didn't get the job. Having being woken up rather unexpectedly yesterday morning for a phone interview, I answered each and every one of the questions asked to the best of my ability. I did however made one, and just ONE mistake but that was all it took for my name to be axed out of the list. Not realizing it at that time, I didn't give it a second thought until I got the e-mail this morning informing me that I've been 'regretfully unable to be offered the position.' Imagine my disappointment...

My mistake?

Interviewer: What do you do outside uni?

Me: Mostly, I utilize my time studying and completing my assignments.

So, there you go. The end of it. What I didn't realize at that time was of course they're looking for someone more interesting. In a job that requires you to interact with people and asking them to donate money towards a scholarship fund, you have to able to relate to them in some level or another and during a phone interview if you gave the interviewer an impression that you're a bore, how then can they expect you to talk and relate to people? I don't blame them.

Now I've missed my chance to tell them that I do have 'a background'. I have seen the world. I have done things.

I tell you one thing though, at least next time I know better. Next time I won't answer everything quite so literally. So maybe during the semester I have myself buried in my books. It really doesn't mean I don't know anything else. It's just too bad I've missed out this time around.

Exam ordeal

28 May (Fri), early morning: Last day of class. Can't believe I've made it this far. What comes next is nothing short of living my worst nightmare.

28 May (Fri), end of the day: Study week officially starts. Time to recap a semester worth of knowledge!

31 May (Mon): Followed sister to her uni, Curtin and docked myself at Robertson Library (was the first and last time I went there...don't get me wrong, the library was great. Just prefer to stay home.)

4 June (Fri): Feeling sick in the stomach. It's already Friday and I honestly don't know how I'm doing.

6 June 2010 (Sun): Was quietly (but a bit frantically) studying for tomorrow's paper when I hear my sister gave a shriek. She was on the way to the loo and something set her off. Ran over and saw the 'situation'. My first encounter with a cockroach since I came here! Didn't think there were any of those little buggers running around on this side of the world. Anyway, the sight sent me and my sister into absolute chaos (she needed to go pee and the cockroach is just scuttling around the bathroom-eee!).
Me: Quick! Spray it!
Sister: But we don't have any insect spray!
Me: O! O! What about (perhaps the non too intelligent side of me was suggesting this) the Glen spray? (Glen is a...shall we say air freshener?)Sister: Glen spray? Will that work (in a very skeptical and dubious voice)?
Me: I don't know! Since we don't have any other spray...
And guess what we did? We sprayed it with Glen (which did absolutely nothing but oh well...) and sis covered it under a container where it stayed for the next 4 days or so till it was nothing but a lifeless skeleton, life sucked out of it. Makes it sound terrible really AND I wasn't too pleased with the prospect of 'committing murder' the night before my exam but as sister pointed out, cockroaches are after all house pest. May you rest in peace, tiny, scuttling house pest.7 June (Mon): Sister drove me to uni (it's a public holiday but UWA is after all famously known for and I quote one of my lecturers, "As you might already notice by now, the university doesn't have much respect for public holidays" may it be Labor Day, the carried forward from a Sunday Anzac Day holiday, or Foundation Day-which falls today. Luckily we got the Easter holiday. Other times we trudged our way to uni while everyone else slumber on at home. That sucks a tiny bit (who am I kidding?! A lot bit!) mostly because public transport doesn't run as often on a public holiday). Sat for my first paper, GENG1001: Introduction To Engineering Mechanics (9 am-12.10 pm, Winthrop Hall).
After my exam, went to the Mathematics building to pick up my MATH1020 second calculus test paper. There was already another guy there looking for his paper. There were no order in which the papers were arranged and trying to find your paper among the other 600 students' is no easy task. In my frustration of trying to find my paper, I saw that all the stacks there were for MATH2010. Then I got very confused. Suddenly I couldn't even remember what was my unit called. Was it MATH2010? I'm pretty sure that it's MATH1020. Or is it? So I stood there trying to remember my unit (hey, I did just finish a 3 hours 10 minutes exam paper and had I been thinking clearly I should know all first year units starts with the digit 1, 2 being for second year generally) and finally remembered that my unit's counterpart (the one that it's always being compared to) is MATH1010 so I knew mine has to be 1020. Just to be sure I asked the guy whether MATH1020 and MATH2010 were the same thing and he said don't think so. All I could see were the 2010 papers! Where then is my test paper?!! After rifling through some stacks (I could see that this MATH2010 test papers had the EXACT same question as my test) the guy suddenly turned to me and said...and I didn't hear him at first, made him repeat it again, still didn't caught what he said which made me reply, "Yeah. But I'm taking MATH1020 and everything here is 2010!" And so he said (again), 2010 is our year! OH! That's right!!! How very, very silly of me. Found my paper (miraculously) not long after, thanked the guy, whose name is John btw, and headed back home.

8 June (Tue): 2nd paper, PHYS1101: Advanced Physics A (2-4.10 pm, Winthrop Hall).

9 June (Wed): 3rd paper, MATH1020: Calculus, Statistics and Probability (2-4.10 pm, Physical and Recreation Centre). This exam venue caused a bit of a confusion for me, having never been here for an exam I cannot even remotely imagine where in a recreation centre would they have a place big enough to sit around 400 students. Turns out they converted the basketball court (they carpeted it as well) into an examination hall. Impressive!

10,11 June (Thu, Fri): Final revision for my last paper, a paper which has never been one of my strongest point.

12 June (Sat): [Can't believe I have a paper on a Saturday!] Final paper, GENG1002: Introduction to Electrical and Electronic Engineering (9 am-12.10 pm, Winthrop Hall).

And so it ended. End of exams, end of the semester, end of another ordeal.

Winthrop Hall (Had 3 out of my 4 exam papers here)

Students walking out of the exam hall after our final paper

Final glance at UWA before heading back. A 42 days winter break straight ahead. Boy, that was a long 4 months!

4 months after, life as a UNIVERSITY student

“Most people fear the unknown when they should fear the known. To live in the known is to live in the prison of the past and therefore in the imagination. The known is an illusion. The real reality is the unknown, so why not live in what is actually real?

When we step into the unknown we are free of the past. When we step into the unknown we are free of every limitation because fresh choices are available in every moment of our existence.” 
~ Deepak Chopra

This must be the longest stretch since I last said a peep in my blog. But then again the last 4 months have been nothing short of a never ending whirlwind (but more about that in a bit).

Let's see from my last post to today, what's new?

For starters, after a lifelong dream and mission, I finally landed myself in Australia, enrolled in University of Western Australia (Bachelor of Engineering), and (somehow miraculously) survived till the end of the first semester (officially finished my last exam paper yesterday at 12.10 noon).

Departed and reached the land of down under on the 16th of February. Still remember telling my parents I couldn't believe everything has come to a full circle. I remembered the time when I first went for the interview that got me this scholarship that has made it possible for me to do my A-Levels and to continue my final stretch of tertiary education overseas. I remembered my first day in college and the journey I went through during my A-Levels. I remembered the day I finally finish my A-Levels, got my results and knew that I've made it through.
Remembered all that has happened and wondering of all that will be.

In 3 days time, it will be exactly 4 months since I've been here. 4 months since I've first enrolled myself in uni. 4 months since I first knew what being in uni really felt like.

Is uni everything I've ever thought and dreamed off? My simple, surprising answer (or maybe not so surprising) is no. I've always, always thought that being in uni meant that you've finally have everything figured out. You go to university knowing everything that you need to know and cruise your way along with the wisdom and knowledge of a university student (doesn't the word alone, 'UNIVERSITY' seems like a big word?!). I thought being a uni student would mean, go to class and immediately know stuffs. I thought uni life meant getting to go to parties every other night or every other Friday night at least, joining (or not) sororities, seeing the 'Greek' life (or does this kind of thing only exist in America?), making a bunch of friends, acting a little bit crazy or being all intellectual. I thought, like in the movies, going to uni would be filled with all sorts of adventure and never ending possibilities.
But of course, now I know better. I finally made it (after 19 years of my life) to university and though perhaps knowing better, it shouldn't come to much of a shock that I don't have everything figured out (and it really does comes to a even bigger surprise to me that so doesn't everyone else). I still don't know everything that I need to know, still trying to find my footing and trying to make my way around without stumbling (but let me tell you it's been a rocky, hilly road). Learning in uni (though I really thought differently) is not much different than learning anywhere else at any other stage (A-Level, high school, etc). The only difference would be university level is far more advanced and also in uni they don't baby you in any way, meaning there's no one there to tell you to finish your assignments, no one to grill you to got to lectures, no one to spoon feed you all the answers, no one for you to run to when you don't know anything (don't want to be asking a 'stupid' question to a professor, would I? ...'PROFESSOR'...another big word!). Also, interestingly enough it used to be "Get an A, get an A!" Now all I hear around me is, "Well, as long as I pass". Another hard fact about uni: you could be that student that scored 90% all the way through your course, getting high distinctions in all your assignments, tests, and exams and graduate after 4 years or you could be that student that scored 50% all the way through your course, just making sure you pass and still graduate after 4 years (but of course the scholarship body prevents me from being the latter).

What an amazing insight I now have on the mysterious realm. Being here for 4 months has finally shown me the world that has always been shrouded in mystery, only seeing how it's like in movies, reading about it in books, or hearing about it from people around me.

Have I enjoyed the past 4 months? Though enjoy would not be the word I'd use, at least now I know what it's like. Could have I done anything differently? Perhaps. My first semester here was the worst 4 months I've ever been through. Not having anyone to ask my endless string of questions and feeling all alone is not a nice feeling. Not knowing a lot of things and feeling utterly lost is the worst form of torture there could be for a student. Even worse than that is the feeling of uncertainty and confusion before an exam. That never should have had to happen. Perhaps things could have gone differently though I can't really see how. But would have I done anything differently? I don't think so. You really can't say that you would knowing this is the path you've chosen and there's nothing you could do to change it. I am however better prepared for my second semester. Knowing what to expect and what it is like, I should have a better picture.

“Whatever you have experienced in your life is carved in stone. But today- at this very moment you have the power to make the shift from where you are to where you want to be. You are never stuck…you always have a choice. You just have to give yourself permission to grow, to love, to thrive.” ~David J.L.